Stories of Overcoming Gambling Addiction

The value of the gambling market in Great Britain is £15.1 billion according to statistics released by the Gambling Commission in November 2023. By far the largest area for gambling is the National Lottery where ticket sales totalled £8.2 billion, remote gambling such as online casinos, bingo etc. accounted for about £6.5 billion, and non-remote gambling such as betting shops, bingo halls, casinos, or arcades accounted for approximately £2.5 billion.

In 2022/2023 in Great Britain, approximately 23.6 million people have spent money on gambling, around two-fifths of the adult population. Of these, approximately 14.6 million adults gambled in-person, and approximately 14.3 million adults gambled online. With 94% of United Kingdom (UK) adults having access to the internet, many in-person gamblers also gamble online.

Today, gambling has never been easier. Increased access to betting through online platforms and mobile apps means that a person can gamble anytime 24/7, without the need to even leave the comfort of their own home. For many people gambling is a fun activity, perhaps having a ‘flutter’ on the Grand National, or ‘playing’ the National Lottery. For most people, they gamble for fun and like the idea of possibly winning big.

They are in control, and set limits on how much money and time they can spend. However, there are others for whom gambling is not a form of entertainment; it is problematic, and often used as a form of escapism, or as a way of relieving negative feelings. Other problematic gamblers are chasing their losses, constantly gambling to try to make up for what they have lost. For problematic gamblers, gambling becomes a compulsion and can be challenging, often destroying lives.

Problem gambling is defined as gambling to a degree that compromises, disrupts or damages family, personal or recreational pursuits. The Gambling Commission currently measure problem gambling prevalence rates using the Problem Gambling Severity Index (PGSI), a screening tool used to measure the severity of gambling problems in the general population. Between 270,000 and 480,000 adults in England are classed as moderate risk gamblers according to the PGSI.

Moderate risk gamblers are defined as ‘gamblers who experience a moderate level of problems leading to some negative consequences’. Between 160,000 and 340,000 adults in England are classified as problem gamblers according to the PGSI, and these are defined as ‘gamblers who gamble with negative consequences and a possible loss of control’. For problem gamblers, the pattern of gambling behaviour results in significant distress, or in significant impairment in personal, family, social, educational, occupational or other important areas of their functioning.

Overcoming gambling addiction can be challenging for a person, with the biggest step being realising and acknowledging that they have a problem. It takes tremendous strength and courage for someone to admit to this, especially if they have lost a lot of money and/or have strained or broken relationships along the way. Recovering from a gambling problem isn’t always easy, as it takes hard work and a lot of support and encouragement.

However, a gambling addiction can be successfully overcome, as we will see from real-life experiences of people who have succeeded in overcoming their compulsions to rebuild their lives. This article aims to offer hope, inspiration and practical insights into the recovery process and to provide a deeper understanding of the challenges and triumphs associated with overcoming gambling addiction from the perspective of people who have been there.

Introduction to Gambling Addiction

People gamble for many reasons such as for the adrenaline rush to win money, to socialise, or to escape from worries or stress. As humans, our brains are hard-wired to seek out behaviours that release dopamine in our reward system, and gambling can stimulate the brain’s reward system in much the same way that drugs or alcohol can, although no substance is ingested, which in some instances leads to addiction. Anyone who gambles can be at risk of developing a gambling problem, also known as compulsive gambling, gambling addiction or gambling disorder. It can happen at any age, to any gender and to people from any socio-economic or ethnic background.

Gambling addiction is the uncontrollable urge to keep gambling despite the toll it takes on your life and/or on the lives of others. Gambling disorder is a recognised mental health diagnosis, with the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR) describing the condition as a persistent and problematic gambling behaviour pattern leading to significant distress or impairment. To receive a diagnosis of gambling disorder, an individual must meet at least four of these criteria within a 12-month period:

• Preoccupation with gambling – The individual shows an increasing preoccupation with gambling, such as constantly thinking about past gambling experiences, planning future gambling ventures or strategising ways to obtain money for gambling.
• Need to gamble with increasing amounts of money – The person needs to gamble with larger amounts of money or make more frequent bets to achieve the desired excitement or ‘rush’ associated with gambling. This criterion indicates tolerance, where the individual requires more significant involvement in gambling to achieve the desired effect.
• Unsuccessful attempts to stop or control gambling – The individual has made repeated, unsuccessful attempts to control, cut back or stop gambling. They may have experienced a strong desire to quit gambling but have been unable to do so.
• Restlessness or irritability when attempting to stop gambling – The person experiences restlessness or irritability when trying to reduce or stop gambling. This criterion highlights the withdrawal symptoms associated with discontinuing or reducing gambling behaviour.
• Gambling as an escape from problems or negative mood – The individual often uses gambling to escape from problems or negative emotions, seeking relief or distraction through gambling. This criterion suggests that gambling becomes a coping mechanism for emotional distress.
• Chasing losses – The person frequently engages in ‘chasing losses’, attempting to recoup previous gambling losses by continuing to gamble. This behaviour often leads to financial difficulties, exacerbated by increasing bets or larger risks to recover losses.
• Lying to conceal the extent of gambling involvement – The individual often lies to family members, friends or therapists to hide the scope of their gambling activities. They may minimise the amount of time spent gambling or the money lost.
• Jeopardising or losing important opportunities – The person continues to gamble despite experiencing negative consequences on their relationships, work, education or other significant areas of life. This criterion emphasises the impact of gambling on interpersonal and functional aspects of the individual’s life.
• Relying on others for financial bailouts – The individual depends on others to offer financial assistance to relieve desperate situations caused by gambling losses. This criterion reflects the individual’s increasing dependence on external support due to the financial consequences of their gambling behaviour.
• Has committed illegal acts – The person has committed illicit acts such as forgery, theft, fraud or embezzlement to finance their gambling.

The DSM-5-TR specifies the current severity of a person’s gambling disorder as the following:

• Mild: A person must meet four to five criteria for a mild diagnosis of gambling disorder.
• Moderate: A person must meet six to seven criteria for a moderate diagnosis.
• Severe: A person must meet eight to nine criteria for a severe diagnosis.

Understanding the severity of gambling disorder helps predict the potential impact on various aspects of the individual’s life, such as financial stability, relationships and overall well-being. Negative effects of gambling addiction can include loss of employment, debt, crime, breakdown of relationships and deterioration of physical and mental health. At its worst, gambling can contribute to loss of life through suicide.

Exactly what causes someone to gamble compulsively isn’t well understood. Like many addictive problems, gambling disorder may result from a combination of biological, genetic and environmental factors, for example:

• People who gamble compulsively often have substance misuse problems, personality disorders, depression or anxiety.
• Medications called dopamine agonists have a rare side effect that may result in compulsive behaviours, including gambling addiction, in some people.
• Certain personality characteristics such as being highly competitive, a workaholic, impulsive, restless or easily bored may increase the risk of gambling disorder.
• If family members or friends have a gambling problem, the risks of gambling disorder are greater.

Gambling and the risk of gambling-related harm are associated with psychological and physical health. According to the Royal College of Psychiatrists, people who gamble at harmful levels are more likely than others to suffer from low self-esteem, develop stress-related disorders, become anxious, have poor sleep and appetite, develop a substance misuse problem and suffer from depression.

Financial problems can really mount up, bills don’t get paid, credit cards are maxed out, and debts accumulate. Many people resort to pay-day loans which with their high interest rates only intensify the problem, so borrowing or stealing from loved ones, businesses or employers also happens when people feel increasingly desperate.

Many people who feel completely trapped by their financial situation carry on gambling to recover their money with the hope of getting out of the situation; however, continuing to gamble will only make debts bigger. Often a downward spiral from gambling can continue unchecked for a long time. Feelings of isolation can grow and it can seem as though there is no way out. Research has shown a link between gambling harm and thoughts of suicide.

It is not only the individual who can be harmed by gambling addiction. According to 2020 YouGov data on gambling treatment and support, around 7% of the population of Great Britain (adults and children) were found to be negatively affected by someone else’s gambling. The most severe impacts of problem gambling were felt most by immediate family members. Almost half (48%) of people who were affected by a spouse or partner’s gambling reported a severe negative impact. This was followed by people affected by the gambling of a parent (41%) and the gambling of a child (38%).

As there are no outward physical indications that a gambling addiction exists, family members often do not realise that there is an issue until the addiction is at a late stage. It may not be until the gambler is at risk of losing everything that the illness comes to light. Gambling addiction can be devastating for family members when they discover what has been happening. Typically, a gambling addict will deny or minimise the problem, even to themselves, and for families and friends the fact that the addict has been lying to them is hard to take and can destroy trust; in some cases family members only find out when they are about to lose their home.

Addiction can be an incredibly lonely experience, and people struggling with addiction often find themselves isolated, both emotionally and physically, due to the nature of the condition and the societal stigma surrounding it. They can often feel as though others would not understand what they are experiencing, or that they are the only ones experiencing it.

Case studies of others’ personal experiences of overcoming addiction raise awareness and offer real-life insights and encouragement to individuals struggling to overcome gambling addiction and help to foster understanding of the condition for friends and families of those affected by gambling addiction. Below we highlight the real-life experiences of people who have successfully overcome their gambling addictions, together with advice and tips that they are able to impart to anyone currently grappling with addiction and recovery.

Personal Stories of Recovery

This is the case study of Chris, a 38-year-old father of two from Brentwood, Essex. Chris beat his gambling addiction and started paying off his £100,000 debt. (Source Monzo)

“I didn’t start gambling until I was 30. It didn’t interest me whatsoever. I’m also an alcoholic. And when the alcohol wasn’t enough anymore, I found gambling to try and fill the void. Everybody else said I was very confident, but I always felt a bit scared. I was quite worried about people not liking me or not getting things right.

Both of my children have autism, and my son has also got Tourette’s and epilepsy. My wife, we’ve been married for 13 years, also suffers from panic attacks and at times hasn’t been able to leave the house. I’ve been the person who needed to be there for her to feel safe and comfortable. For a long time, I didn’t realise I had mental health problems. But I guess all that stuff took a toll on me over the years. A doctor once described it like drips going into a glass. One day it just all overflowed.

I saw some guys at work enjoying gambling apps, and one day I decided to download them too. Just for fun, not because I felt pressured to. I thought I might enjoy it, and I did at first. I didn’t have a gambling problem back then because I hadn’t been a gambler before.

Gambling addiction is a progressive illness. My first bet was probably on a football match I’d been enjoying. But I soon found myself taking my son to his swimming lesson on a Saturday morning while gambling on a women’s football game in Australia I didn’t care about. I’d go from betting a few pounds to £10, £20, then a £30 stake. I’d bet on any sport, at any time, whether I knew or cared about the teams or not. Then it was online casinos, live roulette, blackjack and online slots.

When I first went to a casino, I had no intention of gambling. I went in there to drink and watch the sports team. But they gave me a free £10 voucher for the slot machines, and I made a few hundred pounds. It felt like free money! So I thought I’d try my winnings on one of the roulette tables, and I left with over £1,000. I thought, well that was easy.

I never even enjoyed gambling, which is the weirdest thing. The buzz very quickly became about fulfilling a need. I just needed to keep doing it, or I’d feel empty. I remember seeing guys at the roulette table that’d been there for days. I thought, ‘How terrible, those guys can’t control themselves’, thinking that I could.

But in reality I was the same, and I couldn’t control it either. I started missing work or time with family so I could gamble. It was a very quick downwards spiral. Lying had never come naturally to me before. But because of gambling, I was lying all the time. I’d say I’d been to the pub, when really I’d been at the bookmakers.

Before I stopped gambling for good, my family found out I’d gambled and lost a lot of money three times. I was fortunate that my dad bailed me out every time, so I was in debt to him rather than on my credit cards. One time I even went to the National Gambling Clinic in London. But I didn’t even realise I had an addiction. I thought I’d got into a bad habit, but that I had the willpower to stop. I was so lucky to have the support of my family.

But the problem with my dad bailing me out was that to the rest of the world, it didn’t look like I had any debt. So I could easily borrow more money from the bank. I felt terrible about asking my dad for help. I felt like a let-down, useless, scared and pathetic. I didn’t understand why I was getting into this situation over and over again when I didn’t want to. Every time it happened, I had every intention not to gamble again. My dad wondered what he and my mum had done wrong when I was growing up. But I had a perfect upbringing and the fact is they did nothing wrong.

When I eventually realised I had a problem and was powerless over my gambling, my dad and I went to the casino and I self-excluded from all casinos in the country. I also self-excluded from online casinos and bookmakers. But I always found a way around it. I tried and failed to stop numerous times. A few times I didn’t gamble for up to a year. But it always crept back in when I was stressed or having emotional problems.

I didn’t realise I was gambling to escape. That last time I gambled was when I was off work with depression for a few months. I was feeling suicidal. We were having our house refurbished and my credit rating looked fantastic because I had no debt according to the financial institutions. The stress of having the builders in, of work, and of having children with additional needs all got too much for me. I know these stresses are part of normal living, but I wasn’t able to handle them.

At some point, I decided I was going to gamble. And although I’d gambled in the past as an escape, this time it was different. I wanted to win enough money to leave to my children and wife so I could take my own life. It sounds really odd because in a way I was thinking quite logically, even though it was a totally illogical thing.

My last bet was October 29th 2017. I went to my bank, desperate, and took out a £25,000 loan – the largest amount they’d give me. I lost it all to gambling in one night. I was putting in £100 every few minutes, eventually £2,000 deposits. God knows how people don’t flag that up. The company should have a duty of care. But thank god I lost it, because if I’d won I think I’d have ended it.

I’d reached a point where I was done. I was 36 years old and my total debt, including the loan and debt to my dad was near £100,000. I knew I was finished and that things had to change in my life. I was a gambling addict and an alcoholic and I realised I couldn’t just stop one or the other, I had to stop them both.

The following day my wife asked me, have you done it again? And that’s when it all came out. She broke down in tears and we went round to my mum and dad’s. It was pretty horrific. I told them the whole story and we went through my bank accounts. My dad looked devastated. Everybody cried a lot. That night was the end of it for me. I knew it wasn’t going to happen again because this time I was going to get some help and attend Gamblers Anonymous (GA) and Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).

I attended my first GA and AA meetings that same week. It was nothing like how I expected. I walked in and thought, god these people don’t look like me, they don’t look like a sad mess. They were chatting or laughing. But then they start telling their stories. We were from different walks of life, but we all had one thing in common, an addiction. Finally, I had people I could relate to.

I might go to a meeting and talk about gambling, or share things that have hurt me in the past. But other times I’ll just talk about my week. It’s just about sharing your emotions. A lot of us gambled because of stress. For me, I bottled up my emotions and tried to get rid of the horrible feelings by gambling or getting drunk.

Now, thanks to AA and GA, I can share my emotions, which means I don’t feel fearful and need to gamble or drink anymore. I’d lived in fear all my life that I’d make mistakes, let people down or that I wasn’t good enough. Now I don’t have that fear, and I don’t need to be liked by anybody other than myself.

I’m currently paying off the £25,000 bank loan I took out, which will probably take another four years. Then I’ll start paying back my parents. I owe them a total of around £60,000. I think I’ve probably got around another 11 years before I’ll be debt-free.
My parents and wife also go to Gam-Anon, which helps family members of compulsive gamblers. This has been a great help to them and me. My wife has been amazing. I’m so lucky to have the support and love of my family.”

Kevin Anyango’s Story

“It took three separate tries for me to commit to my recovery journey simply because I didn’t know anyone else who had been through this journey. I constantly felt like people around me were judging me and my recovery pace. This is why, on my third try, I joined a gambling recovery support group where we’d take turns sharing our gambling addiction recovery stories, both good and bad. Understanding that everyone is on a different journey helped a lot, while we may all be addicted to gambling, we are each our own person, which means that it takes unique approaches to get where we want to be.

By sharing my gambling addiction recovery story, seeing that others had experienced similar struggles or even been through challenges I hadn’t faced myself helped me better understand recovery. Not only did sharing my experience and listening to other people’s stories inspire hope in me, but it also helped me build a strong support group. Sharing gambling addiction recovery stories is also crucial for reducing stigma and providing practical guidance, education, and awareness, as well as showcasing the diversity of recovery paths.”

Jade’s Gambling Problem (Source Quit Gamble)

In October 2018, Jade Valley embarked on her gambling journey when she first played online slots. She had never gambled, and it all started with a mere £5 deposit and a £10 bonus. Despite being exposed to gambling ads in London, it was at that moment everything ‘clicked’ for her. Jade felt lost and lonely at the time, with her daughter having recently started secondary school. In her search for something to fill the void, she turned to online gambling. Initially, Jade won £450 with a 20p bingo ticket and subsequently played higher or lower. Within two days, she won and lost £2,500, which made her realise she had a problem.

While engaging in online gambling, Jade discovered that the community was somewhat social, featuring chat rooms where people could converse as they played. She believed that the social aspect might have contributed to the appeal of online gambling but also noticed that expressing negativity about losses was discouraged.

Jade had multiple accounts with different companies to manage her gambling funds and circumvented the credit card ban by using PayPal. Brian, the podcast host, and a fellow slot player admitted that he was frightened of online gambling, mainly due to the ease of using credit cards.
Fortunately, Jade found assistance through Gamstop, a UK self-exclusion service that helped her avoid gambling sites. When she realised that her gambling was damaging her life and relationships, she knew she had to quit gambling. She was impressed with how quickly she recognised her problem and began working on her recovery.

Jade’s willingness to share her experiences has led to connections and support from others facing similar challenges, including messages from around the world. She urged others to seek help and stressed the importance of someone understanding what they are going through. Her story is a reminder that there is hope for a better future and that recovery is possible.

Jade’s story is a powerful reminder of how gambling can infiltrate our lives and emphasises the importance of seeking help when needed. If you or someone you know struggles with gambling addiction, don’t hesitate to ask for support.

Common Themes and Lessons Learned

Recovery from gambling addiction will be different for everybody; however, there are some commonalities that people encounter along that journey. As we have seen in the case studies detailed above, people who are in recovery experience a range of feelings and emotions, many of which are uncomfortable to deal with such as:

• Shame
• Embarrassment
• Guilt
• Anger
• Depression
• Desperation
• Sadness
• Pain
• Anxiety
• Impatience
• Frustration

However, each person highlighted in these case studies emphasised the importance of seeking support, particularly from organisations that specialise in gambling recovery support and advice such as:

• Gamblers Anonymous – provide meetings where compulsive gamblers sit together and help each other through the difficulties of compulsive gambling
• Gamstop – a free tool that allows people to self-exclude from all GB-licensed gambling websites
• The National Gambling Helpline run by GamCare, telephone 0808 8020 133
• GambleAware – the National Gambling Support Network service
• GamLearn – the Gambling Lived Experience and Recovery Network service
• ChapterOne – a charity that can provide advice and support for anyone experiencing gambling-related harms

The opportunities that these organisations provide to share experiences with others who are and who have gone through gambling recovery themselves appears to prove to be invaluable in the recovery process.

All those highlighted in the case studies also stressed the importance of support from friends and family, and how finally being honest with those closest to them helped them to face up to the situation and ask for help. Some relinquished control over their access to money to close family members to limit their funds available to gamble with.

Self-exclusion services and tools were also used by those in our case studies. Gamstop is a free self-exclusion app that will block you from logging into, or setting up accounts with, all online gambling companies licensed in Great Britain. Other self-exclusion services include:

• The MOSES service – this allows people to self-exclude from multiple betting shops with just one phone call 0800 2942060
• The BISES (Bingo Industry Self-Exclusion Scheme) offers self-exclusion from all licensed land-based bingo premises across Great Britain
• BACTA – this site allows people to self-exclude from adult gaming centres, high street arcades, motorway service areas, and family entertainment centres
• BetBlocker is a UK registered charity offering a free service to help support people anywhere in the world
• Gamban blocks tens of thousands of gambling websites and apps worldwide
• The SENSE (Self-Enrolment National Self-Exclusion) scheme offers self-exclusion from all licensed land-based casinos in Great Britain.

All these self-exclusion schemes help someone with a gambling addiction to avoid high-risk situations where they may be tempted to gamble. Avoiding triggers can help prevent any thoughts or emotions from arising that encourage gambling.

Resources and Support for Readers

We have already highlighted above many of the support and advice services available for individuals struggling with gambling addiction. Other organisations and resources include:

• The National Gambling Support Network (NGSN) who work with, and alongside, the National Health Service, providing free telephone, online and face-to-face treatment for individuals and groups, across the UK.
• BeGambleAware offers free, confidential help and support to anyone who’s worried about their own or someone else’s gambling, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
• BigDeal is a place for young people to find information and support related to gambling.
• Gordon Moody is the UK’s leading charity dedicated to providing support and treatment for gambling addiction.
• Anyone who has been affected by a loved one’s gambling problem can contact Gam-Anon to find a meeting.

In many situations gambling addiction will cause financial difficulties. According to a 2021 report from Citizens Advice, the average value of gambling debt was estimated to be £10,000. The same report also stated that in 2021 there were 3.3 million people in the UK dealing with gambling debt. One of the hardest aspects of recovering from gambling addiction is finding the best way to re-establish financial security so that you no longer fall into the cycle of gambling your way out of debt. If you or if a loved one finds themselves in this situation, you can get advice and support from:

National Debtline – a charity dedicated to providing free debt advice to people across the UK
Step Change – provides free, confidential and expert debt advice and money guidance
Citizens Advice – provides advice about debt and money

Those recovering from a gambling addiction can often struggle to maintain momentum so it is useful to access tools and resources to help to maintain recovery.

Many people find cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) useful to help them look at their beliefs around betting as well as how they feel and behave when they want to gamble. You can self-refer directly or ask your doctor for a referral.

QuitGamble.com is an online platform. They provide a range of tools and resources for those who need help on how to stop gambling.

The Royal College of Psychiatrists has lots of self-help tips for anyone with a gambling addiction.
The TUC has produced a toolkit for union reps to help them support members faced with the impacts of problem gambling. It aims to help union reps recognise who is at risk and what the impacts can be. It offers practical advice and support about signposting to further help.
GamFam is a registered charity set up by those who have experienced first-hand the devastating effects that gambling can have on family and friends. They provide a variety of useful resources and support materials.

Conclusion

Problem gambling can lead to family break-ups, mental health problems, financial difficulties and even criminal activity. The consequential harm from gambling can affect anyone which is why it is important for anyone who is struggling with this addiction to reach out for support. Accepting that you are struggling with a gambling addiction is the first step in managing it.

While gambling addiction is a complex condition, there are many treatment options such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) to help you learn how to manage your impulse to gamble, to help you overcome it and to help you regain control of your life.

As we have seen throughout this article, professional and social support is a vital component of gambling addiction recovery. Discussing the addiction with trusted friends, family members and/or support groups keeps them informed. They are often able to help a gambling addict avoid gambling triggers and it enables the gambling addict to discuss the emotions that could cause the addiction.

Raising awareness of gambling addiction is essential for promoting understanding, prevention and support for those affected. This is why personal stories, such as those highlighted above, from individuals who have struggled with and overcome gambling addiction are powerful tools for raising awareness.