The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Delivering Exceptional Customer Service

Customer service is a critical factor in ensuring both prospective and existing customer and/or service user satisfaction, and for retaining customer loyalty. Customer service is the support, assistance and advice provided by an organisation to its customers and/or service users before, during and after they buy or use its products or services. 

Effective customer service can improve an organisation’s revenue generation and brand reputation. Great customer service always starts with a human touch. Personalised interactions greatly improve customer service and let customers and service users know that you and your organisation care about them and their problems. 

Emotional intelligence (EI) plays a crucial role in the success of delivering great customer satisfaction, particularly in complaint handling. EI helps you to effectively understand and manage your own emotions and the emotions of customers and/or service users, leading to improved customer satisfaction and positive interactions.  

A high level of emotional intelligence and the ability to build rapport with valuable clients and potential customers and service users helps to establish their views, perspectives, needs and wants. It also helps to identify and overcome their pain points, to solve their problems and to ensure that the customer and/or service user feels satisfied and valued and ultimately develops a better positive view of the organisation and its service provision.

In this article we will explore emotional intelligence and its core domains of:

• Self-awareness
• Self-management
• Social awareness
• Relationship management
• Motivation

We will look in more detail at how integrating emotional intelligence into customer interactions enhances not only the customer experience but also increases employee satisfaction in their roles.

Understanding Emotional Intelligence (EI)

Yale psychologists Peter Salovey and John D Mayer developed the theory of emotional intelligence (EI) in 1990. Emotional intelligence is often abbreviated to EI or EQ (emotional quotient) and the two abbreviations are frequently used interchangeably. Psychologist Daniel Goleman later divided the necessary skillsets for a high EQ into four domains: self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness and relationship management. He and Richard Boyatzis analysed the internal competency models of dozens of organisations to identify Distinguishing Competencies common to all, and built their original model of Emotional Intelligence from that data. *The domain of Motivation was a later domain addition to Goleman’s original model of EI, which we will describe later. Under the first four domains mentioned above, there are 12 EQ competencies:

Self-awareness

• Emotional Self-Awareness / Focus

Self-management

• Emotional Self-Control / Emotional Balance
• Adaptability
• Achievement Orientation
• Positive Outlook

Social awareness

• Empathy
• Organisational Awareness

Relationship management

• Influence
• Coach and Mentor
• Conflict Management
• Teamwork
• Inspirational Leadership

Let’s look at these competencies in more detail:

• Emotional self-awareness lies at the heart of emotional intelligence. Emotional self-awareness is the ability to understand our own emotions and their effects on our performance. You realise how your feelings affect you and how well you are doing. Your values and sense of purpose help set your course of action. In customer service interactions, this is about recognising how your speech patterns, word choice and tone impact others; it is important to be aware of how and what you say to customers.
• Emotional self-control, also known as emotional balance, is the ability to keep your disruptive emotions and impulses in check to maintain your effectiveness under stressful or even hostile conditions. With emotional balance you recognise disruptive emotions that get in the way such as anxiety, intense fear or quick anger, and you find ways to manage your emotions and impulses. You stay calm and clear headed under stress, even during a crisis. In customer service, this skill not only calms an irate or disgruntled customer but also improves your service to meet their expectations.
• Adaptability is flexibility and handling change and juggling multiple demands, adapting to new situations with new ideas or innovative approaches. It means you can stay focused on your goals, but easily adjust how you get there. You can meet new challenges and you are nimble and adjusting to sudden change. You are comfortable with the uncertainty that situations can bring. In customer service not all customer interactions fit into predefined responses. Adaptability equips you to handle unique and complex situations effectively, ensuring that every customer gets the help they need.
• Achievement means striving to meet or exceed a standard of excellence, looking for ways to do things better, setting challenging goals, and taking calculated risks. In customer service, this can involve reflecting on practice to identify areas for improvement.
• Positive outlook is the ability to see the positive in people in situations and events. It means persistence in pursuing goals despite setbacks and obstacles; you can see the opportunity in situations where others would see a setback that could be devastating, at least for them. In customer service, having a positive outlook offers reassurance to the customer even if you cannot immediately resolve the issue.
• Empathy means you have the ability to sense others’ feelings and how they see things. You take an active interest in their concerns. You pick up cues to what is being felt in thought; with empathy you sense unspoken emotions. You listen attentively to understand the other person’s point of view, the terms in which they are thinking about what is going on. Empathic people are able to get along well with people of very different backgrounds and cultures, and to express their ideas in ways the other person will understand. Empathy is knowing how best to collaborate with them. In customer service, empathy means that you can put yourself in the customer’s shoes and understand their pain points. Customers want to be listened to and they want to feel they are being heard and understood. Using genuine empathy statements shows a customer that you understand their concerns, issues and feelings.
• Organisational awareness means the ability to read a group’s emotional currents, power relationships, identify influencers and networks, and the dynamics that matter in making decisions. In customer service, every member of the organisation must understand their role, their teammates’ roles and how they all fit together to provide excellent service to their customers and/or service users. Clear roles and responsibilities eliminate confusion and avoid duplicating work; they can route help requests to the people who are best suited to handle them, resulting in faster resolutions. This eliminates the frustration of customers bouncing between departments and unnecessarily escalating issues.
• Influence refers to the ability to have a positive impact on others, to persuade or convince them to gain their support. If you are a strong influencer you are persuasive and engaging, and you can build buy-in from key people. In customer service, influencing can include your ability to influence the mood of the situation by having a positive attitude. It can also include influencing the customer to a positive outcome by them having confidence in the person who is helping them.
• The coach and mentor competency is the ability to foster the long-term learning or development of others, by giving feedback and support. It is important in customer service to learn from interactions and feedback from customers to continuously make improvements to service.
• Conflict management means the ability to help others through emotional or tense situations, to tactfully bring disagreements into the open and to define solutions that everyone can endorse, taking time to understand the different perspectives and working towards finding a common ground on which everyone can agree, redirecting energy towards a shared ideal, or an agreeable resolution. In customer service, it is not uncommon for conflicts to arise with confused or otherwise frustrated customers and often arise from customer dissatisfaction. Effective conflict management and resolution strategies defuse these situations, calm customers down, and work out a solution that addresses the customer’s problem.
• Teamwork is the ability to work with others towards a shared goal, participating actively, sharing responsibility and rewards and contributing to the capability of the team. You empathise and create an atmosphere of respect, helpfulness and cooperation, and you can draw others into active commitment to the team’s effort. Customer service is often perceived as a one-on-one interaction; however, excellent customer service requires people in an organisation to work together to ensure customer satisfaction. This may be with team members or colleagues in other areas or with suppliers or service partners to quickly identify who should handle specific customer issues based on their strengths. Cohesive team working can build stronger relationships with customers.
• Inspirational leadership is the ability to guide people to get the job done to bring out their best. With inspiration, you can articulate a shared mission in a way that motivates and offers a sense of common purpose, beyond people’s day-to-day tasks. Leadership abilities extend far beyond the ability to manage individuals. In customer service, inspirational leaders are go-to people during challenging situations, the individuals who can rally a team, and those who often end up acting as liaisons between others in the organisation and the customer. Their strategic thinking helps in efficiently solving problems.

Daniel Goleman expanded on this model of emotional intelligence and added Motivation as a domain of EI in his landmark 1995 book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. He argued that high emotional intelligence includes a strong drive to achieve goals for intrinsic reasons, beyond external rewards such as money or status, along with persistence in pursuing those goals despite obstacles. Motivation is a less tangible but crucially important force. People with high motivation may desire to innovate or exceed expectations. They are interested in improvement in their roles since they are looking to excel. They relish challenges and taking on extra work. In customer services, this can mean going the extra mile to ensure that customer issues are resolved and that the customer is not only satisfied but that their expectations have been exceeded. 

These competencies entail more than just knowledge and ability. Competencies are a mix of behaviours and attitudes that can include skills, too. They are a set of demonstrable characteristics and skills that enable and improve the efficiency of job performance. Utilising the competencies of emotional intelligence in customer service is about being aware of our own emotions, understanding the feelings of the people around us, and responding appropriately with empathy in order to provide the customer and/or service user with exceptional customer service and enhancing their overall customer experience. People with a high degree of emotional intelligence know what they are feeling, what their emotions mean, and how these emotions can affect other people.

Emotional Intelligence in Action

In customer service interactions, developing and utilising emotional intelligence can create better communications and relationships, improve team working, minimise conflicts and create less stress. Let’s look at how emotional intelligence can be used in customer services:

Self-Awareness and Self-Regulation:

Self-awareness is the ability to recognise and understand your own thoughts, feelings and emotions, and self-regulation is about how you respond to what another person is saying to you. Self-awareness and self-regulation play a pivotal role in effective customer service. Both verbal and non-verbal cues, such as tone of voice or body language, indicate your emotional state. By being aware of these and knowing how you feel means that you are able to recognise how your emotions affect those around you; understanding and accepting the way that you feel is often the first step to overcoming any negative emotions. 

For example, in a customer-facing situation where a customer is dissatisfied with a product or service and begins to make a complaint, regardless of their attitude, good customer service skills recommend that you remain respectful at all times. Pause, slow down and don’t react to the situation immediately. Take time to process what is being said, and engage in critical thinking, which means challenging your own assumptions as well as those of others. Ensure that your reaction is measured and appropriate, not flawed by emotional responses in the heat of the moment.

Staying in control of your emotions, asking the customer open questions and actively listening to their responses by accurately paraphrasing what they are saying in your own words, will show that you understand their issue(s) and that you are interested in taking positive action to solve their problem(s). When you consistently react in a calm way to pressure, it creates a general sense of ease which helps to defuse fraught and stressful situations.

Customers with problems are going to want to talk, and they are going to want to explain every last detail to you. It is important to wait patiently while they do this, and let the customer talk until they are finished. Remember that most of the time the customer is not upset with you personally, it is the situation. Self-awareness and self-regulation ensures that you do not contribute to their dissatisfaction, and that your calm, patient listening and responses will reassure a customer that you value their custom and want to resolve their issue(s)

Empathy:

Empathy is the ability to sense and understand the emotions of others; it is essentially about putting yourself in the emotional shoes of the customer. This ability will help you better understand the views, perspectives, preferences, wants, needs, concerns and issues of others. Empathy builds trust and connection between two people.

Empathy must be authentic, a sincere feeling that demonstrates to the customer that their concerns are valid, that they are carefully listened to, and that you have an intention to follow through on efforts to resolve an issue. Empathy helps build trust and rapport with customers and, as a result, creates a positive customer experience. Using empathy in customer service can help to defuse a potentially difficult situation and prevent it from escalating. 

Another benefit of using empathy in customer service is that it can help to uncover underlying issues that the customer may be experiencing. By actively listening to the customer and asking follow-up questions, you can better understand the customer’s needs and identify any underlying issues. For example, some response phrases that can help to connect with customers and show that you care include:

• “I’m sorry you had to experience….”
• “I understand how frustrating this must be for you”
• “I understand that you are in a hurry, I will do my best to resolve this quickly”
• “I really appreciate your patience”
• “I understand how this could be unclear”

There are many times when customers genuinely have a bad experience, so it is helpful to acknowledge their emotions, and sometimes, when a customer has a bad experience, there really isn’t any excuse for it, so it is important to take ownership of the problem, which can help to defuse an awkward encounter. 

Many customers can seem impatient especially if they are busy or expect better quicker service, so showing that you are aware of this and that you are doing your best to help them can prevent the situation from escalating. Empathetically letting customers know that you value their time, particularly when tensions are running high, helps to communicate that you don’t take their time for granted.

In circumstances when customers have an interaction with your organisation that is unclear or confusing, this can enhance their feelings of frustration, so it is important to empathise with their views, and to show that you are there to provide clarity. 

Responding empathetically to customers will help you to understand their situation, show that you care, and keep you focused on resolving their issues. This helps you to connect with customers on a more human level, and can ensure that you satisfy them and retain them as customers, rather than lose them and/or leave them dissatisfied. 

Motivation:

When you are intrinsically motivated to accomplish something, you have an internal desire to achieve it rather than just going through the motions. Intrinsic motivation is driven by internal factors such as personal enjoyment, a sense of accomplishment, or the fulfilment of your values and beliefs. Intrinsic motivation fosters a deep sense of engagement and commitment, leading you to invest your time and energy wholeheartedly into meeting and exceeding customer expectations, and providing exceptional customer service. Intrinsic motivation can help you to feel that you are making a difference and that your efforts and accomplishments in resolving customer issues have meaning. 

Employee intrinsic motivation and engagement directly impacts customer satisfaction through the behaviour and attitudes of the employees who interact with customers. For example, a customer makes an enquiry about a product or service, the customer services representative points the customer in the direction of the range available and says, “Please feel free to come back to me when you see something that you like”. In this interaction there is little or no intrinsic motivation to enhance the customer experience or to go the extra mile to identify and meet the customer’s needs and preferences. 

An employee with high emotional intelligence using their intrinsic motivation would have engaged in the encounter quite differently, establishing through open questioning and active listening what the customer needs and preferences are before offering more tailored product/service choices to the customer. They are ready to find an answer to any concerns that the customer may have, and ready to problem solve to resolve any issues. This more interested and motivated approach demonstrates commitment to providing excellence in customer service to ensure that the customer is satisfied, which gains their loyalty to the organisation.

Social Skills:

Effectively deploying self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy and intrinsic motivation contributes to developing and enhancing social skills. Social skills are the skills that we use to communicate and interact with each other, both verbally and non-verbally, through our words, tone, gestures, body language and through our personal presentation, whether that is in person or in writing.

Social skills are crucial in customer service, and have a profound impact on customer perception, as communication and interpersonal interactions are often key to determining whether a customer experiences exceptional customer service irrespective of whether their needs have been met or not. A customer services representative with high social skills will be able to create rapport with customers which can enhance loyalty, build positive relationships, and make customers feel valued and more likely to return.

When a person is socially skilled they are able to adapt their tone and approach to meet the different needs of customers, ensuring that they deal with a diversity of people in a wide range of situations. For example, some customers may appreciate a more formal approach, while others may prefer a more relaxed and friendly interaction. Being adaptable ensures that each customer feels understood and valued. These skills are particularly crucial when de-escalating tense situations and finding mutually acceptable resolutions to problems. 

Imagine for example a situation where you need to give a customer bad news about their delivery. Being able to do this with empathy and to be able to articulate the other options available to them clearly and professionally helps to create a sense of care and trust, vital for avoiding conflicts. 

Benefits of Emotional Intelligence in Customer Service

As we have seen, emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, understand and use emotions positively in order to manage stress, communicate well, empathise, overcome issues, and manage conflict. Let’s look at how this benefits your customer interactions and the service experience of the customer.

Enhanced Customer Satisfaction:

One of the most important factors for business success is the ability to identify, understand and meet the requirements of customers. Customer needs can be either physical or psychological. For example, if a customer is looking for a car, it is their physical need, but what type of car will fulfil their taste is a psychological need. Emotional intelligence enables a deeper understanding of customer needs by fostering empathy, improving communication, and enhancing problem-solving skills, all of which help in gathering more accurate information about what the customer really wants or expects, leading to better service and improving overall customer satisfaction.

Improved Conflict Resolution:

Any role that requires working well with other people, to perform effectively in high-pressure situations and to deal calmly with emotive issues, needs that person to be emotionally intelligent. Being able to manage conflicts and de-escalate fraught situations before they become more intense is one of the most valuable skills that anyone dealing with customers and/or service users can possess. Emotional intelligence helps customer service representatives to recognise and understand the emotions of others by actively listening and observing verbal and non-verbal cues, whilst also recognising, understanding and managing their own emotions. It equips them with the skills to manage their own stress, preventing it from affecting their interactions with customers. This enables them to handle challenging situations calmly and professionally with empathy and composure, and to effectively negotiate an effective resolution that is agreeable to all parties. 

Increased Customer Loyalty:

Emotional intelligence helps to build trust with customers and/or service users, leading to long-term loyalty. When customers feel that an organisation genuinely cares about their needs or concerns, they are more likely to be satisfied with the outcome of their interaction, even if it wasn’t fully resolved to their initial expectations. Nurturing and retaining existing customers and/or service users through effective customer service is greatly influenced by customer satisfaction. The process of building and maintaining positive relationships with customers encourages these customers to remain loyal to the organisation, and often to recommend to others based on the excellent level of service received.

Positive Work Environment:

Emotionally intelligent individuals excel in both verbal and non-verbal communication. They can articulate their thoughts and feelings clearly and listen actively to others. This enables them to foster a positive team culture, encourage open communication, and build strong relationships among team members, leading to increased collaboration, productivity and a more cohesive work environment. A collaborative work environment helps teams to navigate uncertainty, handle stress and maintain a positive outlook during challenging times. The ability to adapt to change and bounce back from setbacks is a quality of emotional intelligence, and whilst conflicts are inevitable in any workplace, emotional intelligence equips individuals with the skills to manage and resolve disputes effectively.

Developing Emotional Intelligence

Training and Development:

For some people emotional intelligence comes naturally; however, for many others, emotional intelligence can be learned and developed. “Emotional Intelligence can be gained and improved at any point in life” (Goleman, 2014).

The first step in gaining and developing EI/EQ is to become familiar with the EI/EQ framework and competencies devised by Daniel Goleman as described earlier in this article, that is:

• Self-awareness – the knowledge of what we feel and why we feel so
• Self-regulation – the ability to express our feelings in the right way
• Empathy – the ability to relate to others’ emotions and see the world from their perspective
• Social skills – the power to communicate effectively and to build strong connections at home or in the workplace
• Motivation – the internal drive to change the way we feel and express

There is a variety of training courses and workshops that can be a good option to provide employees with all the tools to get started in learning different techniques and encouraging individuals to learn different methods of emotional intelligence. Courses are often targeted to different roles such as Customer Services, Sales, Leadership etc. Training varies based on format, personalisation and price so it is important to select a course that fits your needs by checking its approach, credibility, framework and results. Opinions for training and development can include:

• Formal training through tailored workshops and webinars delivered by Emotional Intelligence experts.
• Online training delivered through a platform such as CPD online that users can access wherever and whenever is most convenient for them.
• One-to-one coaching sessions with an internal or external EI/EQ coach. These sessions are usually fully tailored to the individual, helping them to talk through and understand the goals and objectives they can work towards to fully develop their EI/EQ competencies.

Reading resources that can help to understand and develop EI/EQ include:

• Goleman, Daniel. (1995). Emotional Intelligence. New York: Bantam Books, 1995.
• Goleman, Daniel. (1998). What Makes a Leader? Harvard Business Review, 1998.
• Goleman, Daniel. (2000). Working with Emotional Intelligence. New York: Bantam Books, 2000.
• Salovey, Peter, Marc A Brackett, and John D Mayer. (2004). Emotional Intelligence. Port Chester, N.Y.: Dude Pub., 2004.

Over the last few years, a number of different assessments have emerged to measure levels of EI/EQ. Such tests generally fall into one of two types: self-report tests and ability tests.

Psychometric assessment organisation, Thomas, offers a Free Emotional Intelligence Test to businesses to show how you can analyse the main traits to help develop an individual’s emotional intelligence in specific situations.

Psychology Today provides a free online assessment to help you understand, label, express and regulate emotions.

Mind Tools’ test “How Emotionally Intelligent Are You?” helps you to self-assess how emotionally intelligent you are, and how you can develop further.

Practical Exercises:

Self-awareness exercises are useful to reflect on your own emotions and how these emotions can affect your behaviour. Techniques such as mindfulness and journaling can help you to become more self-aware. Mindfulness is a technique you can learn which involves noticing what is happening in the present moment, without judgement. You take notice of and become aware of your mind, body or surroundings. The way we think, and what we think about, can affect how we feel and act. Tips for practising mindfulness include:

• Paying attention to and focusing on things you can see, hear, smell, taste or touch such as the wind on your face when out walking.
• Notice when your mind wanders and where your thoughts have drifted to, notice and be aware of the emotions that you are feeling or sensations in your body. You don’t need to try and get rid of any feelings or thoughts. Just try to observe and accept these feelings with friendly curiosity, and without judgement.
• Bring your attention back to the present moment. You could do this by focusing on your breathing or another sensation in your body. You can discover more about mindfulness here.

Journaling is the act of writing down your thoughts, feelings and experiences. Self-expression through journaling allows us to focus our mind and thoughts in a similar way to meditation, and put them into perspective. Regularly monitoring your mood by journaling can be really useful for identifying what makes you stressed, or identifying fears which may be impacting your mood, all part of the self-awareness and self-management elements of emotional intelligence.

Reflecting on practice and asking for and acting upon feedback can help to improve emotional intelligence and customer service skills. To reflect, following an interaction, try asking yourself reflective questions such as:

• What went well?
• What didn’t go so well?
• What are the positives that I can build upon?
• What would I do differently next time?

Role-playing scenarios provide the opportunity for customer service representatives to act out different workplace scenarios to practise and observe emotional responses and interpersonal dynamics.

Active listening exercises such as pairing customer service representatives to share a story while the other practices listening without interrupting, then repeating the key points back, can help to hone active listening skills.

Activities that focus on reading and expressing emotions through body language, such as mirroring exercises or interpreting emotions from facial expressions without verbal cues, provide opportunities for non-verbal communication practice.

Integration into Customer Service Practices:

Emotions are a natural part of human interaction and there are all kinds of emotions in the workplace associated with winning or losing customers through effective customer service. Customer service professionals have to be ready for anything, so the utilisation of emotional intelligence competencies in all interactions both with customers and with colleagues helps to ensure that services experienced by customers are exceptional and meet or exceed their expectations, ensuring their satisfaction and loyalty.

Key Takeaways

By asking thoughtful questions, actively listening, expressing genuine interest in their concerns and going the extra mile to overcome their concerns and to resolve any issues, you can create an environment where customers feel valued and respected, and you create strong customer relationships that will benefit not only the customer but also enhance the organisation’s reputation and bottom line.

• By understanding your emotions, you can effectively manage and prevent customer conflicts.
• Active listening helps build trust, reduces tension and facilitates collaborative problem-solving.
• When you truly understand and empathise with your customers, even if you don’t have an immediate solution, you show them that you are on their side and turn potential conflict into customer satisfaction.
• A personal approach creates a sense of loyalty and trust in customers.
• When faced with a challenge, it is important to stay calm and approach the situation with an open mind.
• When facing customer problems, it is crucial to approach them as opportunities to reinforce trust in your service.
• When you take the time to recognise and appreciate customers’ loyalty, you also acknowledge the value they bring to your organisation. A sincere “Thank you” following an interaction can make customers feel genuinely valued.
• Learning from both positive and negative situations is key to developing your emotional intelligence and to becoming a skilled customer service professional.

Conclusion

Statistics show the importance of emotional intelligence in customer interactions. In their 2024 UK Customer Satisfaction Index, the Institute of Customer Service identified that:

• 62% of customers believe that bad practices or behaviour by a company will damage its long-term reputation and that an entire sector can be tarnished by the actions of one or a small number of companies.
• 56% of customers say their satisfaction with an organisation has been influenced by whether they felt it understood and cared for their personal situation and needs.

These statistics help to reinforce the importance and value of emotional intelligence in customer service and its role in achieving service excellence. 

In this article we have explored the components and competencies of emotional intelligence and their application in customer service and the wider workplace environment. By encouraging and developing self-awareness, empathy and effective communication, you foster an environment where collaboration flourishes and conflicts are managed constructively. 

The effects of a more emotionally intelligent workforce are profound, leading to increased productivity, enhanced employee engagement, exceptional customer satisfaction and loyalty, and a workplace that adapts resiliently to the demands of an ever-evolving business landscape, which makes investment in emotional intelligence development a strategic imperative.